Batangas Tagalog (the pure kind) sounds greek to native speakers of Tagalog who have been taught Filipino, but who are either born and bred in Manila or from other parts of the country. Batanguenos take pride in their everyday vocabulary which is often labeled "deep Tagalog." The anecdote below (forwarded on the net, source: anonymous) shows some of these unique words. Pardon the illogical sequence and coarseness of the fictional account. The point is to simply highlight some unique Batangas Tagalog.
KUWENTO NG MAMAY
Isang hapong mabanas, sa pagsinsay dine sa tuklong, ay napuna ko ang nakaiwarang na puno ng sinturis na arugang-aruga pa ng Mamay.Sadyang pinapugadan sa guyam at pinabantayan sa bilot para hindi ngalutin ng buwik.
(One hot afternoon, when I passed by the chapel, I noticed the fallen Sinturis Tree that Mamay looked after. He had allowed an anthill to prosper there and a puppy guarded it to prevent a piglet from eating the fruits.)
Habang nagtutukake, naulutang ngatain ng Mamay ang bubot na sinturis, inutay-utay, pasal na pasal. Pagkatapos ay bigla na laang siyang napaumis, nahurindat at parang bang-aw na nagpatikar, lumiban ng karsada kahit naambon, naglupagi sa gabukan, napuno ng amos kaya nagdamusak, tubal na tubal, talipa pa ang sipit.
(Sleepy, Mamay decided on impulse to munch the unripe sinturis. He ate the fruits one by one, he was very hungry. Then out of the blue, he grinned, acted confused and ran, and under drizzling rain he crossed the street like crazy. He rolled himself on dust, his face was covered with food crumbs so he was really dirty; his clothes were a mess, and his slippers were on the wrong foot.)
Napasuot ang Mamay sa masukal na balinghuyan at doon naulutang garutihin ng kawot ang mga bangkalang. Pero liyo at parang nakabarik pa rin ang Mamay kaya naghamon pa ng babag. Wala namang kumana kaya ang pagerper sa kahanggan ang nalingilan.
(Mamay ended up in a lush area planted with yam, and there, he was impelled to hit the ground lizards with a ladle. But dizzy as if drunk he called out for a fight. Nobody responded so he turned his attention to the whore who lived in a neighbor's house.)
Pagkatapos ng barokbokan at lungkuyan, hapong-hapo ang Mamay. Naging matalute ang tawaran sa bayaran at mulay ang gustong ibayad ng Mamay. Nagkaribok na, nagwasang ang pagerper at tinangkab ang Mamay. Pakloy ang nguso.
(After doing the girl, Mamay was out of breath. He was unreasonable as he haggled the service fee and he wanted to pay her with coins. Chaos ensued, the girl created a scene and she punched Mamay, hitting him on the jaw. Mamay's lips turned black and blue.)
Nagligalig ang Mamay dahil marami daw kato, amoy hawot daw naman at makati pa sa iladong tulingan. Dapat daw ay kitse lang ang bayad. Sa iyamot ay nagtungayaw na ang Mamay “Ang tinamaan ng lintek na batang ire at napaka minos, walang galang sa matanda! Mabubusong ka!”
(Mamay responded with a litany of woes because he said the woman was not clean, she smelled of dried fish and he felt itchy as if he ate frozen tuna. She should have been paid with a bottle top instead, he said. In his irritation, he cursed even more, "You daughter of an ingrate and disrespectful child, you don't have respect for your elders! Blasphemer!")
Naglabas na ng balisong ang Mamay at inayangan ang pagerper na nagitla kaya nagtuwarik sa tangwa.
(Mamay got a balisong and branded it at the girl who was shocked; and in her shock, she fell over the ditch.)
Hagalpakan ang mga usbaw eh!
(Then these two crazy people had a loud laugh!)
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